10.You believe the numbers in the business plan.
9. When the new management team declares they’re on the verge of turning things around, you move 100 percent of your 401k into company stock.
8. You’re convinced your boss will make all your extra efforts worthwhile just as soon as the budget comes through for that pay increase he’s been fighting to get you.
7. When they tell you this is a “people company,” you think one of those people is you.
6. When the regional VP declares that the meeting is a safe environment and he values your input about your boss—who also happens to be his fiancé—you offer it.
5. When the CEO says that customers come first, you think that means BEFORE short-term profits and driving up his stock options.
4. You sell the company’s great new product to all your best customers without waiting to find out just what those “few tiny glitches it might have” might be.
3. When they say that “around here we work and we play hard,” you think that means you’re allowed to take off almost as much time off as the regional VP or drink anywhere near as much as the Chairman of the Board.
2. You accept a lateral move and relocate to East Cowflop, North Dakota, because you think that puts you in line for the next promotion rather than at the top of the list for the next hellhole where nobody else is willing to go.
1. You think Dilbert is fiction